When Your Children Don’t Support Your Work

Last week I wrote about un-supportive spouses/significant others/partners.  But un-supportive children are a different story.

An adult has a choice and two adults can have a meaningful, if spirited, conversation and come to some conclusion.  But can you persuade a child to be understanding and supportive?

Well, I guess you can bribe them, but I’ve found that doesn’t work for very long.  And, like all bribes, they keep escalating.  So pretty soon they own the house…and the car… and you’re in trouble.

So what do you do? How do you get your children to support you in your decision to work from home? Here are some thoughts (not suggestions):

Talk to Them. If you can find out what’s really bothering them, I’ll bet it will be about them and about TIME.  It will go something like this: “You won’t have time to take me to soccer practice.”  “You won’t have time to take me to the mall.”  Your reassurances that you will indeed still have time will help tremendously.

Don’t promise anything you can’t do. Children take promises very seriously.  I can remember times when I told my children, “We’ll go to the park.”  Then it rained.  Their response, “You lied to me.”  Unreasonable, I know, but that’s how their minds work.  “Next week” just doesn’t cut it with them.

Enlist their help…and pay them. Younger children can do small tasks like emptying wastebaskets or helping to package products.  Older children can do more complex tasks.  Keep track of their hours and pay them some reasonable rate.  Their pay can be deducted from your taxes and put aside for them or given to them, depending on the amount and their ages.

Work on It. Convincing your children that you will still have time for them means nothing, unless you make it work. Over time, if you live up to your promises, they will settle down. It happened with my children – over time they became used to the routine and my occasional disappearances into my office.  But as long as everything else was the same, they settled down and the negativity diminished.

Expect occasional outbursts. And at the worst possible time.  Every so often, usually when you are up against a deadline, your children might decide to act out.  Children seem to sense when you are stressed and they pick those times to make you aware of their needs.  Figure out ahead of time what you will do and then do it. Taking an hour off to get ice cream or go to a movie with them might be all that’s needed.

In the end, you’ll find that your children will accept what you are doing as long as they feel part of it, the rest of their world is the same, and, most important, you still have time for them.  If you have any experiences of trying to balance work and children, I’d love to hear about them.

Image source: StockXpert