When Your Spouse Doesn’t Support Your Work
March 4, 2009 by Jean Murray
Home business owners are like other business owners – we need the support of our families to succeed in business. But what if your family doesn’t support you in your business? That can be very tough.
My husband is very supportive, and our children are grown, but it’s difficult when you have young children and your spouse isn’t helpful. So what do you do?
I’m helping a woman start a home-based business, and she is struggling with this question. She said her husband told her, “I think this is a dumb idea. Don’t get me involved.” Well, at least that’s not downright hostility, but it certainly isn’t support. I shared some of my thoughts with her, but I’d sure like your comments too.
What’s the issue? Find out why your spouse/significant other/partner is negative. Maybe it’s the specific type of business he/she doesn’t like. Maybe it’s a concern about the time and money it will take to get started. Getting the concern out in the open will help you both figure out how to deal with it.
Play “What If”? I believe in expecting the best and planning for the worst. Spend some time talking about “What if?” – “What if the business runs out of money?” “What if one of the kids gets sick?” “What if I can’t work?” By describing and working through these potential negatives, you come to discover that you can in fact figure them out. Something
Work Together on the Business Plan. I’m a firm believer in creating a business plan at the beginning of a business. The ability to sit down and talk about the plan may be enough to get the other person excited about the potential of the business. Working through the financial statements gives both of you a picture of how the business can succeed. For example, you might find out that you can make more money than you thought, or that you don’t need all those expenses, particularly if you work from home.
Put ‘em to Work. This may or may not be a great idea. Some spouses don’t want to work in your business. But even a small job, like doing the accounting may be enough to give the other person a feeling that he or she is needed.
Set Limits. Often, the other person is fearful that the business will take all your time. The woman I mentioned above found out that her retired husband was sure they wouldn’t be able to go on vacations. When she showed him how she was going to hire an employee to take over when she was gone. he was happy. Of course, in the beginning you may not be able to get away, but if you build in the systems to have the business run itself, you should be able to leave occasionally after it gets up and running.
So, what suggestions do you have for the person who says, “My spouse isn’t supportive?” What has been your experience? What have you done?
Image source: StockXpert
Jean,
The issue you have written about is more common and experienced in more households than we may think. There are a great number of reasons why this may be the case. Reasons ranging from jealousy, money to time commitment have been cited for this problem.
I’ve found that many of the instances stem from past experiences. Many home business owners have been involved with an average of 3-4 home business opportunities. When the end result is often failure it becomes increasingly difficult for the spouse to continue to offer support of something that will “take all your time” and yield little to no results.
My suggestion is to definitely build a business plan and within the plan ensure you have a system that will increase your chances of success and help you automate your business as much as financially possible. Also, make your goals clear to your spouse and include your family in those goals; both short term and long term. Communicate your reasons for building a home business so that your spouse will understand what your reasons and motives are behind your actions. Sometimes your spouse may believe that your actions are all self-centered when in truth they are completely family-focused and to benefit the entire family and not just yourself.
The bottom line is communication. If you find that through communication you are still unable to get your spouse onboard and support you then you’ve got another issue entirely.